Rona - Imaginary Friends

A couple of months ago I joined a writer's group.  Every once in awhile they give us all an assignment.  Last weeks assignment was to write about your imaginary friend as a child, or one you would like to have now.  This is what I came up with.  What do you think?  Could there be a character here?  

An imaginary friend is the best companion you’ll ever have. It’s like having a twin, without having to agonize over your parents possibly liking them more, or them being prettier, smarter, or skinnier than you. 

My imaginary friend is Rona.  She knows every little thing about me.  The good, the bad, but still she stays.  There’s something comforting for us both about having someone that knows everything.  She knows my unreasonable fear that someday I’ll find a mouse in my shoe. I know hers of doors where you can’t see what’s on the other side. We know the others more serious fears as well.  Her fear is that someday I’ll forget her.  What she doesn’t understand is that she’s impossible to forget. 

With fiery hair that goes all the way down her back even when it’s up in a ponytail, she’s there with me, getting soaked as we do cartwheels in the rain.  Her dark olive green eyes gleaming from excitement in the moonlight, as we take each others hand while running straight into the ocean in our clothes, before we lose the nerve.  How she’s the only person who sings along with me, without music.  Our lazy days spent watching Psych, laughing at Shawn and Gus’ friendship, and how much it parallels with our own.    These are the moments I remember most, when she’s away on her own adventures.  

There are few people in this life that actually make me feel understood.  Rona does this effortlessly.  I’ve often marveled at how she so easily feels like a safe haven. With her, we’ve passed a social barricade.  When we speak, it is no longer like we are talking to another person, but rather talking to ourselves. There are no inhibitions, no thoughts left unspoken.  Together we can articulate our innermost thoughts, while knowing our secrets are safe with the other. 

She knows that I always stay silent in fights to avoid saying anything I can’t take back. Whereas she says everything she wants to say in French.  We both know once I master the language, she’ll have to find a new way blow off steam.

I never look up what she says, even though I have a French/English dictionary at my disposal.  Some things I know are better left unknown.  

Sometimes I’m hit with the feeling that it’s unfair to the rest of the world that only I can see her.  It’s like having my own personal diamond mine, filled with diamonds that would put the stars to shame.  She doesn’t even know that she’s beautiful.  I want to tell her, but don’t.  Part of her charm, is that she truly doesn’t even know how she shines. 

I had just finished reading Confessions of a Shopaholic when I wrote this.  The girl I saw as Rona in my head was a mix of Isla Fisher from the movie adaptation of the book, and someone who was all her own. I thought Rona was going to be blonde, but I couldn't get the image of those long, red locks out of my head.  I was really trying to work on showing, rather than just telling.  That was my main goal for this piece.  I also wanted to create a character relationship that would be believable and find my voice while writing.  Being in a writer's group, and hearing a vast variety of other peoples work, really lets you hear how distinctive everyone's writing is.  I'd love to hear your thoughts on this piece. 

Perfectly Pink--Micheal Drayton poem "Since there's no help"

Since there's no help, come let us kiss and part.
Nay, I have done, you get no more of me.
And I am glad, yea glad with all my heart
That thus so cleanly I myself can free.
Shake hands forever, cancel all our vows,
And when we meet at any time again,
Be it not seen in either of our brows.
That we one jot of former love retain.
Now at the last gasp of Love's latest breath,
When, his pulse failing, Passion speechless lies,
When Faith is kneeling by his bed of death,
And Innocence is closing up his eyes--
Now, if thou wouldst, when all have given him over,
From death to life thou mightst him yet recover.

That is a poem by Micheal Drayton and belong is my analysis of the poem. It is a very wise poem that I feel may comfort those who are in the stage of a break up where the fire of the love went out.


Michael Drayton wrote this Shakespearean sonnet, which consists of 14 lines that can be subdivided into 3 parts. In each part, he uses a different voice. Drayton uses first person in the first part, third person in the second subdivision and second person in the end of the poem. Each section of the poem has a different theme that contributes to the whole theme of the poem.
From the very first line, it is concluded that Drayton has already decided that this relationship has no chance of being restored. The phrase "there’s no help" indicates the frustration both parties of the relationship have been feeling. The tone in this half of the poem is one of acceptance of the relationship being beyond repair. Since the couple can do nothing more to save their relationship, for it has been falling apart for some time, they willingly go along with the fact that it’s over and time to move on.
Drayton makes it clear to his past lover that she can have no more of him. This statement would seem severe if it wasn’t for the word "Nay" which shows his doubt with his own decision. He’s attempting to convince himself, as well as his reader, that he is glad to see this relationship end. The word "heart” represents the feelings of both love and hate left in this relationship. It is from the heart that humans are able to feel love and hate. The heart that once loved this woman wants desperately to hate and forget her. The word "glad" is a paradox in itself. When a relationship has ended the last emotion that anyone ever feels is glad.
The tone becomes bitter and less understanding for he now wants to clean himself freely of her. "That thus so cleanly I myself can free." The order of the words in this line adds power to its tone. By reading the word "cleanly" before the word "free", we feel the passion to finish off any last strands because the emphasis is shifted from the subject to the adverb (cleanly) and verb (free). Also the words “so” and “free” are stressed and they are the words that hold the power in this line.
"Shake hands for ever, cancel all our vows." I think the reason Drayton uses the phrase "shake hands for ever" is to show both parties’ acceptance that their relationship has failed. When two people shake hands on a certain issue, it is to show they are in agreement. The longer the shake, the better they are in agreement. Here Drayton shakes hands with his used to be lover “for ever”. This means they both have both agreed on breaking up and it wasn’t a one sided affair. They both want to have this relationship end and to be able to move on. It’s interesting how Drayton uses the word forever as two word instead of saying "forever," he says "for ever", separating the "for" from the "ever." One reason for having done this could have been that the word "forever" would have been too final, which could be another clue to the author’s uncertainty on how he really feels about wanting this end to the relationship. When Drayton says, "cancel all our vows" he is throwing all of the promises that they ever made one another away. All of the promises they made mean nothing now and they are free of the binding those words caused.
This couple has created a pact that if they shall bump into one another in the future they will not let it show that they even know one another. They are to ignore one each other and not let anybody see on their face any emotions they might feel for the other and act like strangers. Drayton created an image in our mind of this future meeting and showed the reader what this meeting would look like rather than flat out telling them. He used this image to emphasize the importance of hiding the couple hiding their feelings after the end of their relationship. The next line hints that they still feel a little amount of the love they once had for one another, but they will hide any left over feelings they have not only from the world but from themselves too.
Throughout the rest of the poem, love, faith, passion, and innocence are personified. Love is represented as a sick man on his death bed surrounded by his friends. It is an original way to emphasize the dying love between the man and the woman and how it came about dying. Love, faith, passion, and innocence are all connected. Love must have the help of them all to continue burning bright or else it burns out. The personification of faith would normally be a young man standing tall and strong. Drayton’s personification of faith reveals the lack of faith towards the death of love. He is kneeling by love’s deathbed for faith has become weak. When there is little faith, the love withers and dies. The innocence in this love is dying. Innocence dies when it shuts its eyes for it no longer can look at the world threw the eyes that saw it as such a wonderful place. An innocent person overlooks hurtful behavior and sees the best in everything. This love between them used to be innocent believing their love would last forever. Love has learned more and is now no longer innocent and dying. When innocence dies, love dies with it. The passion the lovers once felt so strongly for one another is now speechless and weak, almost to the point of nonexistence. As easily as love formed, love can be destroyed. As easy as it was destroyed it can be formed again. To love again, the passion inside your heart must burn bright, faith must be restored, and turn innocence into wisdom.

Perfectly Pink--Finding yourself

There's this certain feeling you get when you find yourself. No wonder so many people are chasing who they are. You'll never find yourself that way though. You're always there, you just need to stop trying so hard and let yourself flow back. Do things that make you happy and eventually you'll find yourself completely back where you belong with nothing left to chase. Anyway this feeling is completely amazing. Nothing can compare to this kind of happiness. No matter what turns in the road life will throw at you, when you know exactly who you are and where you stand you are able to handle it all perfectly. You never lose your cool. There's just this huge bubble (not bubble cause bubbles can be popped to easily but you get what I mean) protecting you from all of the chaos and keeping you sane. While in this space you know that it will all work itself out and to not take anything to seriously. Everything you do feels right, all of your thoughts make sense. Everybody around you can tell that something about you has changed and the world surrounding you will change too. It will start fitting your needs. The things you needed so badly it felt like you'd die if you didn't have it but they never came your way...they now effortlessly come almost instantly. Can life really be this easy? Yes, yes it can. We just need to stop fighting the flow and let our self reconnect to who we really are. The only person we should ever aim to be is ourselves. Nobody else out there can be us and if we try to copy other people, than you're just a second rate version of them and who wants that?

Perfectly pink--Letting go

I decided you can't start over or really be happy until you let it all go. We go against what we want when we try to force it to happen, when we hold on to things to tightly, when we make that load of baggage we have even heavier with more bad beliefs. Think about it, that relationship that you tried to save when you saw that it was slipping might have worked out if you hadn't made them run for it by trying to hard. This life isn't made to be hard. Everything we want will come to us if we keep an open mind, open heart, and let it come to us. Nothing good comes forced. We can't make things happen. They will come to us when we stop getting in our own way. The only thing keeping us from everything we want is ourselves! Now isn't that a relief? I'm not being sarcastic, that's great news because the only thing we can control is ourselves. We can start getting out of our own way, start going with the flow till life naturally leads us to all that we desire. Ask and it is given. Now get out of your own way. Let go of all of those things that are not supportive to getting you what you want. you'll know what those thing are because they don't make you feel good. They are part of that baggage you carry. Let go of those negative thoughts. Read self help books, do whatever it takes to make you motivated because there should be no excuse for not trying to help yourself live the life you want, the life you deserve if you'd only let it come to you by going with the flow of how life is supposed to work.



I have the best friends in the world! Look at one friend posted on face book about me in a note today:
Jessica is the kind of girl you want around whether your breaking up with a guy or trying to meet a guy. She is the relationship expert, and not just relationships but in being yourself! She loves the color pink and applies that bright optimism to her life! She is very elle woods with having a very strong sense of self! She is very feminine which inspires me to be more like her! She's had many great relationships which is inspiring and she is still happy even after the breakups of hard ones. Jessica is really fun to be around and super compassionate for those who need love. She is very loving, sweet and always a good friend to have! I can see Jessica either being a reporter or a business woman!


Now that's the kind of friend I attracted into my life by just letting her come to me. She makes this life complete and we help one another on our journey of what already is an incredible and fulfilling life! Do something nice for someone! It actually will help bring you a step closer to your true self and on the path to making your dream world reality.

Titanic

Today I went with my family and checked out the Titanic exhibit at the local science museum. It was so much fun. I've always felt connected to the Titanic in a way that other people didn't seem to understand. A few years ago I decided I must have died on the titanic in a past life. (I know it might seem a bit out there but at least I have enough faith to believe in something I can't explain) Before you go through the exhibit you are given a boarding pass with a real passenger on boards name and some information about them. When you are done you get to find out if you survived or where one lost. Everybody else in my family ended up finding out that they survived, yet I knew that if I was given the name of the actual person I might have been on the Titanic I would not have survived. My person didn't survive and it made me feel closer to this person that was just a name. In a few days I think I'll do some research on her and see if anything comes up. My family and I even decided to get all dressed up for fun as if we lived in the early 1900's just like when the Titanic set sail. It was a lot of fun dressing up like a different time period. I would like to go back to those fashions. I used to think I would want to go back to that time but having learned more about how women were treated I have changed my mind. It makes me upset to know what the women before me had to go through. I am so proud of them for how they paved the way and remained strong. The world would be so different and not one I would care to live in if women were still treated like mindless creatures.

Does anybody know what color Carrie Underwood's eyes are? I've had the song cowboy Casanova stuck in my head all day and it has gotten me curious about her. I googled and some places say brown but they definitely aren't. They are either gray, green, or hazel but I'd like some second opinions.

P.S. I've actually written a song every day. They aren't exactly good but it is extremely satisfying finding a line after line that not only fits but rhymes and sounds good too.

Online School

I go to an online school and I have for the past three years. I think online schools are really misunderstood. Last week somebody I know insulted me saying that I don't live in the real world because I don't go to a real school. That is the craziest thing I've ever heard. I do go to a real school, and sure it's different from the typical public school, but that doesn't mean it isn't real or that I don't live in the real world. Ordinary schools are great, I've spend a large chunk of my life in them, but I wouldn't go back into one for all of the money in the world. It's like Kate Chopin's book the Awakening. There was this whole person locked up inside me that I couldn't show the world while I went to a public school. When you are surrounded by society and their thoughts, it is much harder to make all of there voices shut up and be able to hear your own. You can't even notice that this is happening to you until you step away from it for a while and find some of the voices fading away. These three years that I have been going to an online school have been the most fun filled, and self discovering years of my life and I am only beginning. People can say I don't live in the real world, and if the real world is one where you have beliefs stuffed into your head that you don't really believe in and are a roadblock for the rest of your life than they are right, I don't live in that world anymore. I still have friends, but they have to be ones that are supportive of me and the choices I need to make to be able to have the future I dream of. My world is a different one from that of most teenagers. I was able to find myself, the person I always wanted to be but was to scared to be before. What I want for myself keeps changing, but that's okay because every time I just grow more and more as a person. Going to an online school was my own personal awakening and I've enjoyed every minute. I still have a lot of work to do at my school which takes up a lot of time, but I'm a lot happier doing it. Anybody else who feels lost or like their school or environment isn't right for them, I highly recommend them looking at an online school like Connections Academy. Everybody deserves to find themselves. The only person you can be is you. If you are trying to be somebody else than you are just a second rate version of them.

Julie & Julia inspired

I was watching Julie & Julia with my family when it dawned on me that I too need a goal, something to work on and look forward too. There is so much more productive things I can be doing with my time, yet I keep wandering around lost using my young age as an excuse for my behavior. That stops now. Maybe life isn't made for you to wait for you to find your calling and then pursue it. Maybe you find yourself and what you were made for when you are experimenting with the possibilities in life. We all need to stop waiting for our life to start and just jump in. Having tried and failed is better than never trying at all. Then it is one less thing for us to question on if it's what we should do it. Once you try it you know. I have always loved the lyrics to songs, I love how they can change us or describe exactly how we are feeling. A part of me has always wanted to write my own songs, but something always stopped me. Well not anymore. I am determined to write one new song a day everyday. Wish me luck on being inspired :) maybe I'll be able to write a song that's really moving. No matter what the songs turn out to be, at least I took the chance. At least I finally cared enough about what I want to take the time for something that could change my life. This could just turn out to be another chapter, or it could be the chapter the changes it all. I'm ready for my story to begin.